How To Influence Your Parents

Dear Mom and Dad:

   Since I left for university I have been remiss in writing and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down, OK.

    Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out the window of my dormitory when it caught on fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well healed by now. I only spent 2 weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory, and my jump, was witnessed by an an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He is also visited me in the hospital and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt out dormitory, he as kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him.

It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't got the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

     Yes Mom and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him.

      Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I am not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I am not infected, and there is no boyfriend. However, I am getting a "D" in History, and an "F" in Chemistry and I want you to see those marks in their proper perspective.

Your loving daughter

     

Ty Lacroix Broker of Record & Owner

          

'NOT ALL REALTORS* ARE THE SAME', One call or email to me and you will know why!

Your London and S/W Ontario source for results!

519-435-1600   www.enveloperealestate.com

5 comments • Ty Lacroix • January 14 2010 04:42PM

Are Your Shoes Too Tight?

Tight Shoes...Really, Now!

A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes.  "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.  "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the man.  The assistant bends down and has a look at the shoes.  "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says (are you ready?)...

 

"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith thighth."

Ty Lacroix Broker of Record & Owner

          

'NOT ALL REALTORS* ARE THE SAME', One call or email to me and you will know why!

Your London and S/W Ontario source for results!

519-435-1600   www.enveloperealestate.com

7 comments • Ty Lacroix • December 06 2009 09:38AM

Realtors Wacky Answering Machine Messages

Realtors Wacky Answering Machine Messages

  Being in Real Estate we get an opportunity to shake our heads a lot. One of the joys of calling a client or returning a call is the chance to hear a bit of the following:

 • Hi.  I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

•  Hello, you've reached George and Carmen.  We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy.  George  likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right.  So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

•  A is for academics, B is for beer.  One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

•  Hi.  This is John.  If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.  If you are my parents, please send money.  If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money.  If you are my friends, you owe me money.  If you are female, don't worry, I have lots of money.

•  Hi! John's answering machine is broken.  This is the refrigerator.  Please speak slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of those magnets.

• This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device.  After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling...and I'll think about calling you back.

• Hello!  If you leave a message, I'll call you soon.  If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

•  Hello! If you are a Realtor, thank you for calling. I love you folks and I know how hard you work and I am going to refer everyone I know to you! (I made this one up!)

Ty Lacroix Broker of Record & Owner

          

'NOT ALL REALTORS* ARE THE SAME', One call or email to me and you will know why!

Your London and S/W Ontario source for results!

519-435-1600   www.enveloperealestate.com

15 comments • Ty Lacroix • November 27 2009 09:17AM